As in.

Well, the time's getting close.  The time is getting really close.

As in, I leave in 3 days.

As in, my suitcases are packed.

As in, this is my last weekend in this country.

As in, I'm having to say goodbye to friends and family and places.  Like, real goodbyes.  The kind that hurt.

I'm awful at saying goodbye.  I really am.  I always have been.

But really, nobody's GOOD at them.  Nobody LOVES goodbyes.

...Especially when they come fast, hard, and in multiples.

[we've come a long way, baby.]

[we're going to another country.]

Reminders from Room 430.

I went to see my friend's grandma in the hospital this afternoon.  

Well, first I went to Walmart and bought her some flowers and a card.  Then I signed the card in the parking lot.  And then I went to see her.

I was afraid I wouldn't find her room, or that I'd get the wrong room, or that she wouldn't recognize me and she'd yell for security.  (Okay, maybe I watch too many movies.)

But I did find her room, with minimal difficulty.  She was asleep, so I was just going to set the flowers and card down and not wake her up.  But the flowers were wrapped in crinkly paper, so they made a sound when I sat them down, and it woke her up.

At first she was a little confused, because my face didn't look familiar.  But then when I explained who I was, and that we'd met about 6 years ago, I think she started to remember.  I just told her that I'd heard she was in the hospital and that I wanted to bring her some flowers and see how she was doing.

It reminded me of talking to older people while I was in Lubbock.  My team visited a nursing home once a week for about a month, and I learned a lot.  Older people get so lonely, you know?  It's like they're forgotten.  They just want to talk, they want to be heard.  I understand that I'm generalizing it, and that every situation and every person is different, but that's just my experience.  Nobody likes to feel forgotten, everybody likes to feel heard.  

Seeing my friend's grandma reminded me of that.  It reminded me that I need to not make people I know and love feel forgotten.  I need to do my part, I need to do what I can, to make people feel loved and cared for.  Not because I have to - but because I want to.

It also reminded me that everybody has a story.  I met this woman about 6 years ago, and I knew nearly nothing about her.  She has stories, stories of life and love and loss and pain and good times, stories that I can and should learn from.  

I enjoyed being with her.  It was good for her, I think, because she doesn't get a whole lot of visitors, but it was good for me too.  I needed reminding.

"There is always some madness in love.  But there's always some reason in madness."

-Friedrich Nietzsche

Eighteen.

Eighteen days until I leave.  I can't believe it!  I'm nervous and excited and it still seems so unreal.

Visa update: all four of the girls on my team have our visas!  Yay!  Now we're just waiting on the guys.  Keep remembering them when you pray, please.

Housing update: two of the girls already there in Port Elizabeth (Brittney and Liz) found a house that they can share with the four of us girls.  Three bedrooms, two bathrooms, completely furnished - and when we split up the monthly rent, it's close to half of what we were paying in Lubbock.  That's a really, really good deal.  I'm so excited to see our new house!  As soon they send us some pictures, I'll put them up here.

Eighteen days.

Dwell not upon thy weariness, thy strength shall be according to the measure of thy desire.

-Arab Proverb

And there's more.

I'm reading a book.

Velvet Elvis (by Rob Bell) - a book about faith and what it looks like, and the fact that it includes questioning.  I really like Rob Bell and the thoughts he has.  He's the guy behind this, and that's where I first heard about him.

I haven't read a whole lot of this book yet, but I can tell that I already like it.  Here's a quote for you.  Enjoy.

Questions, no matter how shocking or blasphemous or arrogant or ignorant or raw, are rooted in humility.  A humility that understands that I am not God.  And there is more to know.

Questions bring freedom.  Freedom that I don't have to be God and I don't have to pretend that I have it all figured out.  I can let God be God.

-Rob Bell

South African dinner and Brazilian sand.

My dad made some "South African" food for dinner tonight.  I use the quotation marks not because it was nasty (it was awesome!), but because he found the recipe on the Internet, so who knows if it really is South African or not!  But either way, it was great.  He made some white stuff that was a mix between mashed potatoes and grits, and a tomato sauce that had onions and green bell peppers in it.  It was good and interesting to my taste buds!  I had seconds.  Nicci (one of my best friends who joined us for dinner) had two bites of it - she didn't really like it a whole lot.  Dad, being how awesome and laid-back he is, wasn't offended.  I think he liked it too.

It made me realize how much I love trying new things.  I love trying new foods, reading new books, watching new movies, hearing new languages, seeing new places, learning new stories.  I'm thankful that I have a dad (and a best friend) that like trying new things too.

Today's been a good day, except my back has been hurting pretty fiercely.  Hopefully it'll feel better tomorrow - I'm too scared to go to a chiropractor!

Well, to wrap this up, I want to share a picture with you.  It was taken by Diego, my fellow AIMer.  He's from Brazil - so this is a picture of the names of our team members, written in Brazilian sand!  I thought that was pretty awesome.  Also, a quote from him.

Hum.. if I could just say a phrase resuming my 8 months AIM EXPERIENCE in America… I would say:

“IT´s ABOUT LOVE”

It is not about the language…

It is not about the culture

It is not about you

IT´S ABOUT LOVE. It´s about God´s love. 

-Diego dos Anjos

Not Just A Credit Card.

Here's another update that I forgot to mention.

My team and I had to go through the fairly complicated and ultimately frustrating process of getting our visas to go to South Africa.  There are three consulates here in the States (in LA, in DC, and in Chicago), and you have to apply to one based on where you live.  The consulates all have different paperwork that they require you to have, so the process can get pretty crazy - what I had to have to apply, some of my other teammates didn't have to have, and vice versa.  

But luckily, the Chicago consulate's requirements weren't too hard to meet.  We had to have a letter of invitation from the organization we'll be working with in SA, and a letter from AIM, and a letter from our home congregations, and a physical form filled out by a doctor, and passport pictures, and a travel itinerary...the list seemed to go on and on!  But my team and I were really lucky, because we had a handful of people to help us with this crazy process - the AIM team from last year's class helped us, our coordinators, the mom of one of the girls currently there, and our parents, of course - so it wasn't too hard to keep it all straight.

I sent mine in on May 01, and just got it back yesterday.  It was such an awesome feeling!  That's the last final detail I had to cross off the to-do-to-get-ready-to-leave list.  I have most of my support raised, and I've visited most of my supporters.  I was most worried about getting my visa, but God is good.  God is very, very good and He is very, very faithful.

I think I just needed a reminder.

-Tara

PS: Please remember my team in your prayers, because only 3 of us have gotten our visas so far.  The other 4 visas are very important to our team and to how things will work out over the next few months, so pray hard for us!  And remember - 

Visa.  It's more than just a credit card.

:)

Long Time, No...Anything?

Hey all.

Man, it has been forever, huh?  I'm sorry.  I could give you a lot of excuses, but I won't, because they'll just take up space.  Let's use that space, instead, to fill you in on what's happened since you last heard from me.

Well, I made my top field list (refer to last post).  I got put on a team of seven (four girls, three guys) going to Port Elizabeth, South Africa (we have a website - check it out! www.teampesa.org).  I came home for Christmas Break.  I went back to Lubbock and proceeded to move into my new apartment with my new teammate (the girls shared two apartments so that we wouldn't have to cram four girls into one apartment).  

We started Mission Term - the third and final term of our time in Lubbock, where we have strict limitations on the "luxuries" of our everyday life.  These limitations are in place to make us think about what it will be like on the field, when we might not have them.  We couldn't eat out, watch TV or movies, drive our cars, play any video or computer game.  We couldn't be on the computer unless it was to get information for school, or to email.  We could, however, make phone calls anytime we wanted - which was nice.  :)

We had all-new classes, geared more towards team building and growing closer together than gaining individual knowledge.  We did team papers and team projects, and got team grades for them.  It was a great - and extremely challenging - time for our team, as individuals and as a group.  I learned a whole heap about myself and about the people I'll be spending two years in South Africa with.  I grew close to them, I learned to trust them, and I love them.  They are my family.

Also, we took a trip as an AIM class to Mexico City, Mexico.  It, without a doubt, was the trip that has most impacted my life up to this point.  It was a crazy-long bus ride (and hot on the way down - the air conditioner didn't work!), but it was more than worth it.  I stayed in the Pink House, a house started by Sunset Church of Christ for missionary families working in Mexico City.  It was amazing.  We did a lot of community service, and we saw a lot of the city.  I learned so much that week - about different cultures, about different people, about the real world outside of AIM, about what it means to listen and to love and to work hard.  I took a whole mess of pictures - let me know if you want to see some, and I'll figure out how to get them on here!

Then we had March Madness - the craziest month an AIMer can experience.  We went on a trip to Childress, TX, we held a week-long camp for over 90 high-school-age kids who were interested in the AIM program, we took a two-week-long trip to Arlington, TX and Tulsa, OK.  It was exhausting!  But a lot of really wonderful things happened during March.  I met some people who are now my financial sponsors, I got to give a devotional for over 120 girls during Camp Adventure, and I got to go on a massive road trip with my classmates.  It was awesome.

April also held some good times.  My team went to The Woodlands, TX (a suburb just north of Houston) for our AIM Challenge Week, our last project as AIMers in Mission Term.  Our team went to The Woodlands for a week all by ourselves - no staff, none of our fellow AIMers, just us.  It was great!  We learned even more about each other than we knew before, and we did a lot of good work with the church there.  I met some great people who would later financially sponsor me.

Coming back to Lubbock was difficult, because we knew we were coming back to saying goodbye to our classmates and the staff.  Our time in Lubbock was finally coming to an end.  I'm still not sure how that happened - it flew by so fast!  But that last week was a killer.  We said goodbye to the staff, and to each other, and then we all came home.  

So that's the big update.  I'm home now, and I've been working on raising more support, getting my visa, and taking a breath and relaxing.  It's been awesome to just hang out and take it easy, but I'm ready to reunite with my team.  I'm ready to see them again.  

I'm ready to be on the field.

Until next time (which will be much sooner, I promise!),

Tara