Learning how again.

Okay, it's time to be real.

Ever since the break in, I have sat down at this computer, at this website, what feels like a million times.  And nothing ever comes out.

I loved blogging before it happened, but now I'm having trouble and I'm not sure why.  I have plenty of things to say, but they just don't come out right and then I get frustrated.

But I'm going to start trying again.  If it doesn't sound pretty or make sense, you'll have to forgive me.  I'm learning how again.

Thanks for your patience.

My 20th birthday was awesome.  On the 13th, the girls took me on a surprise scavenger hunt - blindfold, crazy hat, and mix tape included - around PE to celebrate my last day as a teenager.  It was incredible, one of the best times I've had here so far.  I love those girls!  On the 14th, the church sang the "Happy Birthday" song to me, which was embarrassing and nice.  Also, I got to request what Momma Judy made for Sunday lunch...I decided on grilled cheese, a veggie tray and dip, my favorite chips here (they are Doritos, in a green bag), and coconut cream pie. 

I don't actually like pie, but don't ask questions.  :)

Our new apartment is really working out well.  It's great to have an ocean view, and a place to call home - a place that we (Lord willing) won't have to move out of in a month.  God, seriously, blows me away.  I can't believe that He is so good to me.

I've started reading this book, Over the Underpass by Mike Yankoski.  It's so, so good.  The author was a student at at Christian college, and one day he decided to give up everything and live as a homeless person for five months.  The book describes the preparation and plans he makes, but that's the basic plot.  He wants to learn what it means to really be content in any situation - even when sleeping on the concrete in the rain.  He wants to learn how to treat people.  He wants to learn, firsthand, how the church treats people.  I think that's very brave.  

Homeless ministry is something I've been thinking about doing for a year now.  AIM opened my eyes to a lot of things, and that was one of them.  Someone once said that people won't really care about God if they don't even have any food in their stomach.  It's hard to understand that God provides things when you don't have a single thing.  So I'd like to feed people - spiritually, but physically too.  Let's start with some soup and bread and get you fed, then let's talk about you and your life.  After I earn the right to talk to you, we can talk about God.

Here's something he writes in the book.

A hungry man can be a fast learner.  When you come to a table with nothing but need, you are grateful for things you might have pushed aside before.  And when you kneel, hungry and broken at His table, you receive a grace from Him you might, at some other time, have completely missed.  You'll know this grace when you take it.  It goes deeper, quicker, and it burns all the way down.

Love you guys.  Don't forget that we're all homeless and broken and hurting and trying, every day.  Let God use you to be that person who helps others!  And let Him have grace towards you.

-Tara.