God made everything.

I've felt a little off today, I think.  But I don't think it's entirely bad.

Maybe it's the weather, but I don't think so.  I've just wanted to be quiet all day.  Sometimes I get tired of talking so much, you know?  I get tired of laughing so loud.  Which is not something I can really control, but still.  Sometimes I just want to keep my jaws and tongue and voice still.

Went to the soup kitchen with Momma Judy today, and two of the aunties.  (Okay, man, I forget that I can't really write things without explaining them.  "Momma Judy" refers to Judy Kendall-Ball, one half of the Ken and Judy Kendall-Ball, our coordinators for our stay here in South Africa.  Basically, they guide us and help us find our paths while still giving us space and freedom.  They're good people.  And "aunties" refers to two of the older ladies that we're introduced to, usually churchgoers, but mostly just ladies who deserve respect.  It's a term of respect, "auntie.")

So anyway.  Today we met Auntie Mags and Auntie Ann, two sisters who make soup for the soup kitchen.  The "soup kitchen" has shrunk though, from what I understand - now they just take soup to the waiting room of a hospital and an AIDS clinic here in Port Elizabeth.  A couple of AIMers help them by giving them rides and helping them hand out bread and cups of soup.  I had a "good" time - it's hard to say you had a good time handing pieces of bread to sick people who were obviously hungry, some of whom didn't have teeth, one of whom didn't have an arm, all of whom were in need in some form or another.  It's very difficult to say you had a great time doing that.  But I do know that that's exactly what I wanted to do here - find needs, simple and clear needs, and fill them.  You don't have to make it hard, you know?  Helping people does not have to be difficult.  Just hand bread over.

I'm also trying to prepare lessons for an upcoming VBS in East London, South Africa.  Four other AIMers and I are going there a week from this next Saturday for a Monday-Friday VBS.  I'll be teaching 2nd grade, using the curiculum that we help Ken and Judy print - it's called "Lessons to Live By."  It teaches morals and ethics using bible stories, like obedience and patience and sharing and all of that good stuff.  Lots of worksheets.  I'm trying to plan crafts, but it's been a while since I was in 2nd grade, and I'm trying hard to remember what 2nd graders like to do.  I'll let you know what I come up with, and how it goes.  I still have about a week, which is nice.

We recently visited Seaview Lion Park, and it was a lot of fun.  I have some pictures, and I'll upload them on here soon, but not now.  I think dinner is coming up soon, so the pictures will have to wait.  But the baby lions were a lot of fun to play with, their claws were pretty sharp and I got scratched, but it didn't really hurt.  Their fur wasn't as soft as you'd think it was, but it wasn't like sand paper either.  It was fun.  It was neat to finally hear a big lion roar too.  I don't think it was a full-fledged roar, but it was fairly close, so I was satisfied for now.  The cool thing is, this place is about 30 minutes from where we live, and it cost only about 7 dollars American to get in (and about 7 dollars American to play with the baby lions), so I'm sure we'll be going back.  Also, this same lion park is about 5 minutes away from the Xhosa school I went to a week ago, which is crazy.  How crazy would it be if your elementary school was 5 minutes away from a lion park?  That's what is so interesting to me - to us, that sounds totally cool and crazy and fun, but to those kids, it's completely normal.  What's normal for this part of the world is ridiculous or absurd or even outrageous for someone who lives on another continent.  What someone does in their daily life on another continent may make someone here extremely uncomfortable.  Life, people, days, living, relationships, choices, differences, similarities, everything.

I forget sometimes that God made everything.

God made that woman in the hospital waiting room, and God knew her when she had teeth.  She is imago dei - the image of God.  She has some qualities of God in her, maybe her compassion or her patience or her forgiveness or her eagerness or something.  She has something.  He knows her just like he knows me, there's no difference.

How dare I think that there is?

I do things here.

I made it.  I'm sure you all know that by now, seeing as how it's been a week and if I hadn't made it and something crazy happened, you'd know.  So now you know - I made it, I'm here, breathing South African air and seeing South African people.

I had no clue what to expect, or what things would look like, so I just had no mental image of what here would be like.  But now that I know, let me tell you one thing - it is more than I imagined.  It's larger and richer and brighter and better than I ever thought.  I love it.

And I realize that I'm in the honeymoon stage, and once culture shock sets in, I won't think of it the same way I do now.  But if first impressions mean anything - and I think they do - then this place, with these people, is what I've been wanting all along.

I look at the ocean (which is a 10 minute walk from our house), and I ride in the wrong side of the car on the wrong side of the road, and I pay 21 Rand for a meal, and I eat the food here, and I drink the tea here, and I breathe the air here, and I feel the wind here, and I lay in bed here - 

And I can't believe that I ever thought about not coming.

It's amazing what not knowing can do to you.

I went to a school today, with Joey and Carolyne (two AIMers from last year's team).  It's where they go every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday - and soon Saturdays.  The school was called Island Forrest, and it's in a town called Seaview, about 30 minutes away from where we live in Port Elizabeth.  The kids are separated into two classes - Grades 01-3, and Grades 04-07.  They also have something called Grade R, which is our equivalent to preschool.  I would guess that there are about 20 in the younger class, and probably 20 in the older class, and about 10 in Grade R.  We were just teacher's aides really, except the younger class's teacher wasn't there, so the teacher of the older class (her name is Ntosh - pronounced "in tawsh") took over that class for a while.  We helped the kids with their math (I struggled a little with it, because it's been SO long since I've done that kind of adding and subtracting on paper!  Plus, their methods are a little different, so if you do it "the American way" they get confused), and graded their work after they were done.  It turns out kids here hate math too.  :)

We spent some time with the younger kids too.  There was this girl, Andisiwe (on-dee-see-way), and she loved sitting on my lap and playing with my hair.  They all loved playing with my hair!  They would just stroke my head (sometimes kinda hard!) and touch my hands...it was funny and surreal.  Like they'd never really seen a blonde white person that close before.  They were pretty onery sometimes, and you'd have to be firm with them, but for the most part they were sweet and curious, and fun.

The only problem was that we couldn't understand each other.  The older kids spoke some English (some of them), but the younger kids only spoke Xhosa, one of the official languages of South Africa.  They click their tongue when they talk, and it sounds very native and definitely cooler than English.  :)  But it's so interesting, the sounds they make.  I want to learn more of their language so I can talk to them if I go back!

I probably will think of more things to talk about later.  But for now, I'm going to go take a nap before church tonight.

If you have any questions, or if you want to know more about what it's like here, don't hesitate to post a comment and ask me.  It's easier for me to describe this place if I know exactly what you want to know about.

Love you guys. 

Shy Town.

Neysia, Diana, Tyler, Sasha, and I are all at the Chicago O'Hare Airport!  We're getting ready to board the plane for Frankfurt, Germany here pretty soon, maybe in like 45 minutes or so. 

South Africa, here we come!

Prayers muchly appreciated.

Love you guys. 

Updates are coming.

Pictures too!

As in.

Well, the time's getting close.  The time is getting really close.

As in, I leave in 3 days.

As in, my suitcases are packed.

As in, this is my last weekend in this country.

As in, I'm having to say goodbye to friends and family and places.  Like, real goodbyes.  The kind that hurt.

I'm awful at saying goodbye.  I really am.  I always have been.

But really, nobody's GOOD at them.  Nobody LOVES goodbyes.

...Especially when they come fast, hard, and in multiples.

[we've come a long way, baby.]

[we're going to another country.]

Reminders from Room 430.

I went to see my friend's grandma in the hospital this afternoon.  

Well, first I went to Walmart and bought her some flowers and a card.  Then I signed the card in the parking lot.  And then I went to see her.

I was afraid I wouldn't find her room, or that I'd get the wrong room, or that she wouldn't recognize me and she'd yell for security.  (Okay, maybe I watch too many movies.)

But I did find her room, with minimal difficulty.  She was asleep, so I was just going to set the flowers and card down and not wake her up.  But the flowers were wrapped in crinkly paper, so they made a sound when I sat them down, and it woke her up.

At first she was a little confused, because my face didn't look familiar.  But then when I explained who I was, and that we'd met about 6 years ago, I think she started to remember.  I just told her that I'd heard she was in the hospital and that I wanted to bring her some flowers and see how she was doing.

It reminded me of talking to older people while I was in Lubbock.  My team visited a nursing home once a week for about a month, and I learned a lot.  Older people get so lonely, you know?  It's like they're forgotten.  They just want to talk, they want to be heard.  I understand that I'm generalizing it, and that every situation and every person is different, but that's just my experience.  Nobody likes to feel forgotten, everybody likes to feel heard.  

Seeing my friend's grandma reminded me of that.  It reminded me that I need to not make people I know and love feel forgotten.  I need to do my part, I need to do what I can, to make people feel loved and cared for.  Not because I have to - but because I want to.

It also reminded me that everybody has a story.  I met this woman about 6 years ago, and I knew nearly nothing about her.  She has stories, stories of life and love and loss and pain and good times, stories that I can and should learn from.  

I enjoyed being with her.  It was good for her, I think, because she doesn't get a whole lot of visitors, but it was good for me too.  I needed reminding.

"There is always some madness in love.  But there's always some reason in madness."

-Friedrich Nietzsche

Eighteen.

Eighteen days until I leave.  I can't believe it!  I'm nervous and excited and it still seems so unreal.

Visa update: all four of the girls on my team have our visas!  Yay!  Now we're just waiting on the guys.  Keep remembering them when you pray, please.

Housing update: two of the girls already there in Port Elizabeth (Brittney and Liz) found a house that they can share with the four of us girls.  Three bedrooms, two bathrooms, completely furnished - and when we split up the monthly rent, it's close to half of what we were paying in Lubbock.  That's a really, really good deal.  I'm so excited to see our new house!  As soon they send us some pictures, I'll put them up here.

Eighteen days.

Dwell not upon thy weariness, thy strength shall be according to the measure of thy desire.

-Arab Proverb

And there's more.

I'm reading a book.

Velvet Elvis (by Rob Bell) - a book about faith and what it looks like, and the fact that it includes questioning.  I really like Rob Bell and the thoughts he has.  He's the guy behind this, and that's where I first heard about him.

I haven't read a whole lot of this book yet, but I can tell that I already like it.  Here's a quote for you.  Enjoy.

Questions, no matter how shocking or blasphemous or arrogant or ignorant or raw, are rooted in humility.  A humility that understands that I am not God.  And there is more to know.

Questions bring freedom.  Freedom that I don't have to be God and I don't have to pretend that I have it all figured out.  I can let God be God.

-Rob Bell